Jack Barton was crestfallen when his director at The Folger offered him the part of Mercutio. Normally, he would've been head over heels to play that loquacious rogue. But he was already head over heels for Margot Chandler, the obvious choice for Juliet. He yearned to be her Romeo. She was a stunning and intelligent young woman, onstage and off. To play the balcony scene with her would've been rapturous. The decision had been practically a coin toss, the director had told Jack. But luck had been his foe. Now he had to quicksilver his tongue to deliver Mercutio's acerbic wit, die halfway into the play, then mope until curtain call.

The stars had never shined upon his fortunes with women. He was reasonably good-looking, but he had always aimed his romantic aspirations unrealistically at the great beauties of the world. And thereby - as Shakespeare put it - hangs a tale. A lonely tale for the most part. There were no lines between Juliet and Mercutio, but Jack managed to catch Margot's attention after an early run-through of the balcony scene.

"That was brilliant, Margot, absolutely brilliant. I was genuinely moved."

"Oh my goodness, Jack, thank you! I suppose it wasn't bad for starters." She was somewhat out of breath, which was a delicious treat to watch. If this were dress rehearsal, if she were wearing a bodice, he would simply have died. In the Elizabethan sense. He barely knew how to continue.

"Again, just brilliant, Margot. I only regret we don't have a scene together."

"Well, I think you would've made a divine Romeo, truth be told. Maybe one day..." He was very encouraged to hear that.

"Yes, we're both young and committed to Shakespeare. Who knows?"

"Speaking of commitments, I've a commitment this winter to play Viola at the Stratford Festival. I think they're still looking for an Orsino."

"Oh, my. Can you help me get that?"

"I'll do my best." He made a call later that day to Dom Driscoll, hoping the director had not already found his man.

"Yes, Jack, I've seen your work, of course. Can you send me a video of you doing 'If music be the food of love?' It would really help me decide."

"No problem. I'm sure Margot would like to see me in your production."

"Would she? Well, I do want to make my leading lady happy." Jack traded e-mails with Dom and started thinking about the video. That night, he set his phone up on a tripod, shot the scene, and sent it out. The next day he got a reply.

Jack, your video was brill, but I've decided to go with someone else. Best of luck with R and J. Break a leg and all that nonsense. Dom

Obviously, Dom didn't like his Orsino. He talked to Margot about it.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jack. I'm afraid I might know the reason. Dom is hopelessly in love with me. He's been such a pesky thing. You're too handsome. He's afraid you might be serious competition. I'm pretty sure that's it. It has nothing to do with you as an actor." Jack wasn't sure how to take all that in. Did that mean he actually had a chance with her? What a way to find out, by losing a part!

"Margot, when this production is over, would I still be...serious competition? Am I in the running, as it were?" He had decided to just go for it, though the words came feebly out of his mouth.

"Oh Jack, you're a doll, really. What a lovely pair we'd make. But I am just too much of a meshuggeneh to date anyone. Someday I will tell you my whole, crazy, complicated story and you won't want a thing to do with me. I promise you, I'm really quite undateable." He couldn't buy this. She was just letting him down easy.

"I think you're worth taking a chance on, Margot."

"When you hear my tale, and I promise to tell it to you someday, you'll see what I'm saying." Jack couldn't guess what she might be talking about. He only knew she was the most desirable woman he'd ever met. He’d lost two parts and now he’d lost the woman. Three strikes, he was out. Out of his mind. His thoughts were lathered with bad intentions. These injustices against him, he was determined to avenge them. Later that day he found out the name of the actor who nabbed the Orsino part from him. They knew each other well, had done two productions together. He was local to the Stratford festival, and Jack had his address and phone number. During a day off in R&J’s rehearsal, Jack flew to Toronto, rented a car, and called the guy.

“I happen to be in town, can I stop by for a drink?”

“Well, sure, I guess. I’m pretty worn out from a day of fittings and blocking, but yeah, come on by.” The scene was perfect. Jack went to his apartment and played the role of the jealous Moor. He strangled the weary actor, put out the lights, and flew back to D.C.

He got a call the next day from Dom Driscoll.

“We’re all very shook up here. He was a wonderful actor, but the show goes on and I need an Orsino. The part is yours, Jack, if you want it.”

That had been too easy. The next step in his retribution, getting rid of Romeo, would be trickier. A second murder would be too much for Jack. One look at a truly dead man’s face, not an actor holding his breath, had been enough. Besides, Romeo was well-liked, and he didn’t want to completely crush the company’s spirit. Jack had a brother named Lenny who was covered in ink and promoted rap artists. He once bragged that he knew people who were leg breakers. Oh, that was rich. Romeo would suffer a broken leg and the part would be Jack’s. It was too funny. But he didn’t spend a lot of time with this brother and some schmoozing would be required. Lenny had a posh penthouse apartment. He kept vaping, taking phone calls and playing Fortnight while they talked.

“Lenny, I’ve got a problem and you are the only person I know with the connections and cojones to help me. I’m very serious about this, have I got your undivided attention?” Lenny put the phone and controller to the side.

“What is it I can do for you, brother of mine?” Jack explained what he needed, and Lenny’s eyes went wide and round.

“You ask a lot, fratello, you ask a lot.”

“Well, are you the man who can make this happen, or do I have to look elsewhere?”

“No, no, no. You did right by coming to me. A thing like this, it should be confined to family. I can pull it off. I have people, they’re close. It’s not just the money. They’ll do it because they love me, you understand.”

“Whatever you say. I love you and I trust you, brother.”

Every one of the Folger company were shaken when they got the news about Romeo. Lenny’s men had been quite professional about their work. The actor wouldn’t have any long-term mobility issues, but he would be off his feet for the length of the play. The director announced that Jack would take the coveted role and his understudy would play Mercutio. Everything had worked out the way Jack had planned it. Now he had plenty of time to work with Margot and convince her that he was a worthy suitor.

“It’s terrible, simply terrible, Jack,” said Margot. “Do you think there’s any connection between the two?

“Well, I don’t know what anyone else thinks, but I’m scared as all Hell that I might be next.”

“Oh, don’t say that!

“Believe me, I thought of turning down both parts. But getting to work with you twice in a row spurred me on.”

“Hard to find a silver lining in murder, but there it is, I guess.”

“We’ll make the best of it. There’s something I wish you’d do for me, for luck. Wear my ring. It’s a copy of Shakespeare’s seal ring. It would mean a lot to me if you did.” She took it, with reservation, feeling a bit like Richard III’s Anne.

Jack’s triumph was very short-lived. Police questioned him. It didn’t take them long to discover he’d flown to Toronto. They were sure they had their man. Forensics confirmed it. For all his brilliance as an actor, when it came to murder, he had played the part of a foole. Police came to the Folger to arrest him during a rehearsal of the balcony scene. Margot watched from above, realizing the truth. He looked up at her, his eyes desperate and covetous, mad to the gills.

“Who’s the meshuggeneh now, Margot?”